This Year of Living Without is an experiment, to help me learn about myself, about my urges and desires and the resistance to changing things I think I really need.
All of us resist things we think we can’t live without, but I believe it’s not the truth, that we can live without more than we think, and in doing so we can change just about anything in our lives.
So what have I learned, after only a month? A few things:
- I thought I would miss coffee more than I did. Often we anticipate more suffering than there actually will be. This has happened to me numerous times — I thought I wouldn’t be able to give up cheese (it was easy) or a car, or meat, or eating junk food or fast food all the time. But those things were all very easy, and each time it was a surprise.
- Having a great replacement habit makes it much, much easier. When you focus on the sacrifice, you are mentally suffering all the time. But when you focus on the good thing you’re getting instead, it’s wonderful.
- The urges are temporary, even at their strongest. Most urges weren’t that bad, and while normally we give into our urges, I had no trouble not giving in. Even the strongest urge was just there for a bit, then went away. I sat through the strongest urge, and felt it, and sat in the discomfort, and found it wasn’t horrible. Sitting in discomfort, allowing yourself to feel it, is a great learning experience.
- Having pre-set limits is a powerful tool to fight urges. Usually we give in to our urges, because there’s nothing stopping us. Have a piece of pizza or a cookie? Why not? But if you set rules, with limits, you can more easily resist the urges — which is a good thing.
- Having public accountability is also a powerful thing. Having told everyone (including all of you) that I’m not drinking coffee made it much, much more likely that I wouldn’t.